Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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