Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
