Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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