So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
