Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
