i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
