No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
