okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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