Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
