Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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