Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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