i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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