Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
