I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
