The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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