u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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