so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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