My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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