I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
