eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
this hospital has no fireball
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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