I cannot find my penis.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize