there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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