she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Randomize
