i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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