Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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