Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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