Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I came so hard my ears popped.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize