I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
operation have a gay friend backfired
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Randomize
