Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
soo... how was my night?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize