My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
