Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
