i don't like sucking hair
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize