Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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