I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
