So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
