Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
