They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
