Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
