So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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