...so i touched it.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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