1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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