That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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