I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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