Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
