He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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