You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
