i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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