Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
