So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Drunk is not a location!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
