What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
