Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
