I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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