I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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