this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
