Me too!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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