I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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