pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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